


oh, where do i begin?

by LazuliQuetzal



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Guinea Pig Acquisition, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazuliQuetzal/pseuds/LazuliQuetzal
Summary: “No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times.”“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”“Right, right," Jason mumbles, which seemed a little out of character to Duke. His sort-of wayward brother was generally intimidating, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, Dick said that you had a guinea pig when you were younger. How do you take care of a guinea pig?”AKA, not-exactly accidental guinea pig acquisition
Relationships: Duke Thomas & Jason Todd
Comments: 20
Kudos: 222
Collections: Batfam Christmas Stocking 2019





	oh, where do i begin?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dottie_wan_kenobi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/gifts).



> for dottie_wan_kenobi and the 2019 batfam christmas stocking exchange!! Have some Jason & Duke bonding and some guinea pig fun times!! Happy holidays! <3 <3 <3

Duke is in the middle of his post-school nap when an incessant buzzing interrupts his dreams. His hand snakes out and snatches the phone off of his nightstand. 

_ This had better be good. _

“Hello?” he mumbles into his phone, voice rough with sleep. 

The voice that comes through has the decency to be apologetic. ”Oh, shit, were you sleeping? Sorry dude, I can call back later —“

Duke sighs, resigning himself to the conversation. “No, it’s fine. I was going to get up soon anyway —“ 

He comes to an abrupt halt and blinks as he registers the voice on the other end of the line. “Wait,  _ Hood?” _

“Yeah?”

“You — you have my number?”

“... Yeah?”

Duke wonders for a moment about how that happened — he’d only ever talked with Jason Todd in passing, and for Bat-related reasons.

_ Wait, Bat-related reasons.  _

“Is something wrong?” Duke asks, suddenly wide awake, because there are a million possible reasons why  _ Red Hood _ is contacting him instead of Bruce or Steph or Dick, and very few of them are pleasant. 

“No, no, nothing’s  _ wrong,”  _ Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times _.” _

“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”

“Right, right," Jason mumbles, which seemed a little out of character to Duke. His sort-of wayward brother was generally intimidating, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, Dick said that you had a guinea pig when you were younger. How do you take care of a guinea pig?”

“A… guinea pig.”

A pause. “Make that two guinea pigs, actually.”

Duke rubs his eyes. This conversation hasn’t even lasted thirty seconds and he’s still reeling from the expectation-reality whiplash. 

“How did you — never mind." Duke stifles a yawn and switched his mental gears. "What’s your setup so far?”

“I have a cage and food. And two guinea pigs.”

“Do you have bedding? Toys? Hay?”

“Have what?”

_ “Oh my God,” _ Duke says, offended on behalf of the guinea pigs. “Okay, I’m coming over. Where are you?”

“Uh —”

“Actually, never mind,” Duke says, already rolling out of bed and pulling on pants. “There’s a PetSmart off of 31st, you know which one?”

“Yeah,” Jason says. “The one by the Hungarian restaurant, right?”

“Yep,” Duke says. “I’ll meet you there in fifteen. In the meantime,  _ please  _ shred some newspapers and put it in your cage.”

"Are you sure —"

"Jason. I'm meeting you at PetSmart — that's not a question. Think of the  _ guinea pigs." _

No bedding, Jesus Christ.

“Newspapers, fifteen, PetSmart. Got it,” Jason says, his voice tinged with relief. “Thanks, Duke. See you there.”

* * *

Duke drags Jason through the aisles and adds the basics into their shopping cart — food, a water dispenser, hay, various toys and other miscellaneous things. He tries his best to explain the importance of each item as he picks them out. Jason listens attentively, even taking out his phone and keeping notes as Duke talks. He asks questions, and Duke tries to answer, and it’s all very… ordinary. Especially when considering the few things they have in common, like fighting crime and the chaos of being part of the Wayne family.

Once they purchase the supplies, they take the subway to Jason’s apartment, and then Duke is staring at two short-haired guinea pigs shuffling around in their cage.

“What are their names?” he asks. Grinning, he reaches in and picks one up. It’s been a while since he’s held a guinea pig. Arbie died when he was thirteen, and he still hasn’t quite recovered.

“That one’s Jim,” Jason answers. “And the black one is Banana.”

Duke looks over and lifts an eyebrow.

“I didn’t pick the names,” he shrugs.

Duke places Jim back down and reaches for the supplies.

"Let's make these babies comfortable," he declares, and Jason snorts in amusement.

Together, they put in the toys and shred more newspaper. Duke makes sure that Jason knows how to clean the cage, and how often. He watches Jason dutifully add reminders on his phone and on the calendar on his fridge. Fifteen minutes later, the two rodents are happily sniffing around the cage, exploring their new toys. It takes Jim a second to figure out how the running wheel works, but soon he's sprinting along while Banana sips at the freshly filled water bottle. Duke brightens up. Already they look much happier. 

“How’d you end up with these little guys, anyway?” he asks, curious to hear the answer. It wasn't everyday that someone just  _ acquired  _ a pair of guinea pigs.

“One of my informants is moving, and their new landlord doesn’t allow pets,” Jason says. He reaches down and carefully picks up Banana, mimicking the motions Duke used earlier to carry Jim. “Oh wow, he’s soft.”

Duke grins at the sight of Jason cradling Banana in his arms, a small smile crossing his lips.

“This should only be short-term,” Jason continues with his explanation. “I just got 'em this morning. I haven’t had time to look for someone to take them in.” He looks up, a question in his eyes. 

Duke shakes his head regretfully. “I’d offer, but I don’t have the space.”

“Too bad,” Jason sighs. He holds Banana up to his face and smiles wide. “Well,  _ someone’s _ gonna love these guys. Hope I find ‘em soon.”

Banana wriggles in Jason's grip, so he reluctantly sets him back down. For a moment, they simply sit and watch.

"Thanks for helping me out so suddenly," Jason blurts out. Duke turns to look at the older man. 

"It's just — it's kind of a specific situation, and the little brat has school, and I couldn't really think of who else in the family to call. So, thanks."

_ Family.  _ Duke's heart warms at the admission, that even though they've never really spoken, Jason still decided to reach out. Still considered Duke family.

"Of course," Duke says, gently nudging Jason with his shoulder. "That's what brothers are for, right?"

Jason smiles at the response. He reaches into the cage and gently scratches Banana behind the ear. 

"Can you ask around and see if anyone's willing to take them?" Jason asks. "I'd ask Damian but I think he's hit his animal adoption quota for the year."

Duke thinks for a moment, about friends and classmates and neighbors. But before his mind gets too far, his eyes focus on Jason petting Banana. And Duke is suddenly struck with an idea.

“You should keep them,” he blurts out. 

“What?”

“You’d be perfect,” Duke says. “You have space. You have the supplies. And you’re responsible, you can take care of them.”

Jason snorts. “Responsible? Guess you haven’t hung around Bruce long enough to hear what he has to say about me.”

“Oh, get over yourself,” Duke scoffs. “You set daily alarms and  _ took notes  _ when I was telling you what to do.”

“I just don’t want to  _ kill _ them.”

“And that’s why you’d be perfect,” Duke insists.

For a moment, they stare each other down. Jason shifts around.

“I’m not going to be here all the time,” he warns, and Duke knows he’s got him. 

“I’d help,” Duke volunteers. “If you’re not in town. I can check up on them. And —“ Jim scuttles up and bumps his nose on Jason’s hand, asking to be pet, “ — you  _ like _ them.”

Jason huffs a little, but the corners of his lips twitch up. “Okay, fine,” he concedes. "But you gotta  _ help.  _ Not just every once in a while."

Duke beams. "Of course. Should I add myself to the fridge calendar?"

* * *

“Hey,” Dick greets Duke as he rolls into the Cave. The sun is just starting to set, and the nighttime patrol is just about to start. Duke waves hello and Dick smiles back.

Duke starts removing his gear, laying out his belt and weapons and wriggling out of the body armor. 

_ “So —” _

Duke yelps — Dick's voice was  _ right there by his ear.  _

He slaps at Dick's shoulder but the other man just laughs and leaps out of range. "Give a guy some  _ warning,  _ geez!"

"You and Jason have been hanging out more, huh?" Dick says, still grinning. He lifts an eyebrow.

Duke shifts nervously. "... Should I not be?"

Jason's relationship with the rest of the family is tense and dramatic. Duke knows the story, knows that Jason can be violent and ruthless. But… he also knows that Jason has been  _ trying. _

What started as an agreement to take care of two guinea pigs has also led to more _.  _ Duke delivers Alfred-prepared food to Jason. Jason pops in and assists on his patrol. They’ve started exploring Lower Gotham in search of the best taco places, texting each other suggestions and ratings and meeting up when they can.

"You two getting along?"

Duke thinks of Jim and Banana, of that one night they decided to marathon Quentin Tarantino movies.

_ We're family. _

“Yeah,” he says, staring Dick down and daring him to object.

Dick’s grin softens at the answer. “Good,” he decides, and he slings an arm around Duke’s shoulder. “I like it when my little brothers get along.”


End file.
